Faith, Family, Fishing; Navigating Everyday life
Is your family hurting, broken, or just looking to become closer and stronger? Josh and Debbie are in the business of just that. Working through issues regarding the family from perspectives such as; Pastor, Counselor, Teachers, law enforcement, and parents themselves, Josh and Debbie bring a wealth of information about the family, as well as, real life solutions to problems. If you are a Gen X'er with adult children, a millennial with teenagers, a Gen Z just starting, or something else, we have a show for you. Come take a listen, our aim is to restore the family!
Faith, Family, Fishing; Navigating Everyday life
The Disappearance of the Family Unit: Exploring Roots of Despair
Can the breakdown of the family unit be the root cause of many societal ills? Join us as we tackle this provocative question in "Faith, Family, and Fishing." We promise that by the end of this episode, you'll have a deeper understanding of how the disintegration of family structures has contributed to the rise of "deaths of despair," such as suicides, alcohol abuse, and drug overdoses. With the stark decline in two-parent households—from 73% in 1960 to just 46% in 2014—it's more crucial than ever to examine the impact of family environments on mental health, education, and overall well-being. While not all two-parent homes are ideal and not all single-parent homes are detrimental, the quality of family life holds significant weight in shaping future generations.
In this engaging episode, Josh and Debbie explore the complex dynamics of family life and its broad societal implications. Modern terms like "toxic family" and the trend of millennials and zillennials distancing themselves from family ties highlight urgent issues many recognize but struggle to address. Drawing insights from various fields such as counseling, law enforcement, pastoral work, and education, we argue that restoring the family unit is essential for fostering resilience and improving mental health. By focusing on strengthening family bonds, we aim to inspire meaningful change and address the roots of many social challenges. Join us for this thoughtful discussion that underscores the importance of family restoration as a pathway to a healthier society.
sorry honey, I had a lot going on you ready?
Speaker 2:I think so and hello and welcome to faith, family and fishing. I, I am Josh, and today I am joined by Debbie. Who is my?
Speaker 1:Wife.
Speaker 2:Hence the family part of Faith, family Fishing.
Speaker 1:Correct. Well, there's a lot of faith there too.
Speaker 2:But the fishing is the most important. Fishing is Anyway.
Speaker 1:That keeps our marriage very healthy.
Speaker 2:So if you were tuned into this, this, perhaps you found us by accident. Perhaps, um, you were a previous subscriber to practically christian, because we did not change the feed for the podcast, we just changed the name of the podcast. Yep, and we changed the name because there's a lot to a name. Right, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but if you have a dandelion it is a different flower okay I don't. A dandelion is a flower.
Speaker 1:Right, it is a flower I think it's a weed, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think it's flower um so, same people, different podcasts, different aim. You know, our aim on this one is to restore the family, especially, I mean that, that family unit yes and um. I think the first and most logical question would be why? Why? But why um, and there's a lot of different reasons for that right Sure. I will tell you, like doing research for this, I found something that was new to me, but I'm sure that doesn't happen often.
Speaker 2:No, and I'm sure you've heard about it before, but it's called it's America, a nation dying in despair.
Speaker 1:Oh, is that a website?
Speaker 2:Well, it's actually from the Manhattan Institute, okay. I've heard of them and in the article is talking about. That's horrible, this new thing called deaths of despair, which means deaths by suicide, alcohol abuse or drug overdose.
Speaker 1:Goodness.
Speaker 2:And, according to all the research, it has been on the rise for at least three years I mean, I know suicides have yeah um, suicides have almost doubled what since covid, since, oh don't, you can't say that name I can't say that name no, you can say the disease, the disease that shall not be named, shall not be named.
Speaker 2:Yes, you could say that, but but yes, uh, suicides have doubled um, since 2020. That makes me sad. It does, and and I think, when you look out at people, at culture, at america, and, and especially and I know people you know are listening to this all over the world, and I'm sure it's the same over there too thank you, germany, keep going, that's right, um, you just see despair, you see broken you see it on their faces hopelessness.
Speaker 2:You see you know, it's just never going to get better. And and even with this, deaths of despair. Um, they said there there's a lot of different contributing factors, but the biggest factor to add to the mix is family breakdown and again, what we see like if you look at Pew Research Center, which again is just research. It's just hey, we asked this many people and here's what we got. They were comparing marriages from 1960 to 2014. Okay and um, the amount of children growing in a two-parent home in 1960 was 73 percent and 2014 it was down to 46%.
Speaker 1:Oh man, almost in half.
Speaker 2:And that's still 10 years ago. So, it's probably even lower than that now?
Speaker 1:Oh, certainly, absolutely.
Speaker 2:The amount of two-parent households. Hold on. I'm trying to read this as I go.
Speaker 1:Is it double talking yeah?
Speaker 2:the share of children living in a two-parent household is at the lowest point it has been in half a century in 2024?
Speaker 1:are they talking about 2014? In 2014 okay, so it's probably even lower now well, it says.
Speaker 2:Conversely, the share of children living with one parent stands at 26, which is actually up from 22 in in 2000 well, that makes sense, yeah and just nine percent in 1960 wow, so I go I mean the rise of single parent homes I mean there's a lot of different reasons for that you know're the.
Speaker 2:However, less than 40 46 percent are living with two parents, which means 54 percent of children are living with only one parent. So that's more than half. I mean we see this breakdown, um, no matter what the data is. So so again, and, and we have to look at this and we have to go, okay, well, what does that matter?
Speaker 1:what? As far as having two parent homes, well, and or the breakdown of family, because yeah, because I want to.
Speaker 2:I don't want to sit here and go. It's just having two parent homes no, because you can have two parent homes.
Speaker 1:That are bad and you can have a pretty dysfunctional home right and you can have a one parent home that's loving and caring and, yeah right, encouraging and all the things you know, and so it's not a two parent versus one parent home you're talking about a two parent healthy home right and more.
Speaker 2:So I'm talking about just quality family yes, like because there's a difference between I have a family and I have a good family right because everybody has a family.
Speaker 1:You know children that have gone through horrific trauma have families. You know people that have been in horrible situations have families. That doesn't always mean it's a good family. Is that that's what you're talking about, right, like just because you have?
Speaker 2:you're not saying just because you have a mom and a dad in your home doesn't mean that you're not struggling, have despair, hopeless right because even if you look at like you know, single dads or not, single dads um well, single dads are on the rise too yeah, but but even if you look at um, fatherless children that that's what I was trying to get at, not single dads um, there they make like there are stats about fatherless children and they're more likely to engage in in risky behavior, they're more likely to abuse substance, they're more likely to drop out of school, they're more likely to become sexually active earlier in their life. Like there, there's all of these different things, Statistics right.
Speaker 2:That come from just having a fatherless home. But they also keep into account that the father could be in the home and just not be a present father.
Speaker 1:Right, right right.
Speaker 2:So, like you know, that whole thought process of okay, you have a two-parent home, but dad is, you know, kind of, just checked out all the time Dismissive. Yeah Right Kind of comes in the house, you know, goes to the room watch it, whatever the case may be Right, right, right.
Speaker 2:Um, you know. So you have that too and I go. And that's just as dangerous as if dad, you know, as the meme would say, left to go get cigarettes Right and when to go get cigarettes right and when to go get some milk right. Never came back, never came back, so I go. I'm not sitting here going. Oh, the solution to all of this is simply a two-parent home right.
Speaker 1:The solution to this is a restoration of the familial unit.
Speaker 2:I like that and I go it's not just okay, does it look good on the outside? Right hit the stats on the outside. It's not just okay. Does it look good on the outside? Does it hit the stats on the outside?
Speaker 1:It's not only does it look good on the outside, but it's also doing what it's designed to do Behind closed doors when no one's looking, and that's where the faith part comes from, because I go.
Speaker 2:You know, if God is the one who designed family and we see family all the way back in Genesis it's actually the first time we see in scripture where God is, is creating creation and he it's the first time we see. It is not good.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:God creates man on the sixth day and he goes it is not good that man should be alone, right. And so he creates a helpmate, a wife, um, suitable for him, and, and, and so then he brings the woman to the man. Adam breaks out in song and we have the first family, right you know, and god's you know role to them, you know go be fruitful, go multiply, go make more of you know little ones of you, yeah and so we have the family and immediately, as soon as the family is created it's attacked.
Speaker 2:It's attacked, yep and and the devil tries to break up the family. Right why?
Speaker 1:because I mean, I think, from everything I've seen, a family that's healthy and together and unified. You know, the kids are going to be protected and taken care of and wife's taking care of husband, husband's taking care of wife and everyone's looking out for each other. But if you're constantly on the attack or on the defense, then you're you're going to look out for yourself well, I mean, and just think about that old adage right the family.
Speaker 2:That prays together, stays together eats together, stays together, sleeps together, stays together fishes together, stays together there you go you. I mean seriously, and the reason fishing comes in on this podcast is is you don't understand the kind of conversations you can get into with your teenage child, who hates talking to you in any other right aspect who talks to you via text message but you get out on a boat where they can't go anywhere.
Speaker 2:Well, and you know, hey phones can't right. You know, put the phone away, start fishing pay attention, look around you. That's true we actually went out charter fishing. We went on vacation last year we went to the case last summer and we went out on a charter trip. While we were down there and in the captain hollywood, that is his name, what they call him shout out um you know we were talking.
Speaker 2:He was telling me he's like man, you'd be shocked at how many kids like he takes the phone away from him. It's like you know your dad spent a lot of money to bring you out here to go fish and right, you're not just gonna waste that by sitting here playing on your phone, right and and like he was saying, like these kids start catching one or two fish and then all of a sudden, they're excited. You don't even think about the phone, right?
Speaker 1:Because you're getting that dopamine hit and that's really what they're trying to do with the phones and stuff it is. I mean, we see it in school.
Speaker 2:So we see this breakdown of the family and honestly, I don't think many people out there would disagree with that. I don't think there are many people in this world I mean oh, what's it? What's it called? You see it on shorts all the time. The stupid millennials and zillennials and versus. No, they're like breaking up with their family. It has a special name. I forget what it is emancipation no, it's not emancipation, because they're already adults they're already adults.
Speaker 2:it's notructing they're already adults. It's not emancipation. Oh, it's like hey, I'm not going to Thanksgiving this year because my family doesn't respect my right to.
Speaker 1:Whatever, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2:Because maybe I'm tired of their conservative values and they don't see me for who I am, and you know. And I go Get over yourself. Yeah, but that's it, but that's a whole other episode. Yeah, that'll probably be a different episode there. Yeah, um, but you see it, I don't think there are many people out there that would disagree, right, that there is a breakdown within the family, because even those people, um they're acknowledging there's a breakdown right right there they.
Speaker 2:They know there's something wrong um, yeah, you're just kind of a little hot is this better? Yeah, actually go again is this better? Better split the difference, um, but I go. Yeah, they're sitting here and going like there's a breakdown the other way you know you hear the term toxic family and and all that kind of stuff. So there is still that breakdown and I go.
Speaker 1:So I'm not saying that that's not true, that there aren't families that are super toxic and dysfunctional oh, absolutely, I mean there are yeah, and I'm not taking away from that no, um, and there's something to be said, to go hang on, hang on but I don't think there'd be many people that would disagree with the family as in like a tailspin right now. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Trying to catch up to the world.
Speaker 1:And people don't see it as an attack from the devil.
Speaker 2:They don't no.
Speaker 1:They're just like and I go.
Speaker 2:So why then would we want to dip into this, like why then do we want to restore the family and I go? Yeah, that's a great question. Um, you want to see better mental health in our country take care of everything at home. Restore the family. Like you want to see a lot of these problems that you're tired of go away.
Speaker 1:Restore the family and I know for you you want to help education?
Speaker 2:Oh, restore the family.
Speaker 1:I know with you, you talk a lot about men leading and their role. I mean, this isn't just a cover-all.
Speaker 2:There's specificity to each role in the family yeah, and when we get into further episodes yeah, that's what we're going to talk about, those specific instances, Because I think people here restore the family, and I think a lot of people want the family restored.
Speaker 1:They want things to change and they want things to get better. They just have. They literally have no clue on what to do. Right, they're just like, okay, I want this to get better. I just don't know.
Speaker 2:But I go. Here's why it to get better. Man, you just go to google and type in the importance of family support. Psychological well-being better development family support can help people build confidence, independence, responsibility and trust. Health family support can help people behave in healthier ways and use health care services more effectively. Academic performance family support can help children and college students perform better academically. Family resilience Family support can help families foster resilience and reduce stress. Support for racial and ethnic identity Family support can help people support their racial and ethnic identities. Support for the elderly Family support can help the elderly. Support during depression and recovery Family support can be important for people struggling with depression, I mean, and it just goes on and on and on.
Speaker 2:It's almost like there was a designer who went hey, I'm gonna put this together because this is gonna be for your good, because it is not good for man to be alone right and I go honestly like and I've been saying this for a couple years now you look at all the problems that we face, especially here in in America 80, 85, 90% you could almost completely eliminate if you could restore the family unit.
Speaker 1:Right, seen it for years. Families that are healthier, especially if the child's struggling, that child's going to grow more and have an easier time overcoming obstacles because that family is healthy at home. Right even to parent families that have kids that are struggling, I can tell you firsthand that doesn't matter if the family's not healthy, because that kid's going to struggle probably even more.
Speaker 2:Right because they're already on the downward spiral academically and then at home's not healthy right so that hurts them in the classroom as well and I go, and so what we went is we went. Hey, we want to, we want to enter into this, we want to enter into this conversation, we want to um be able to use our education, our experience and and all of that and for those of you that don't know like one of my degrees is in counseling.
Speaker 2:Um, I've seen this as a counselor. I've seen this as a law enforcement officer. I've seen this as a pastor, I've seen this as a educator, like. We've seen this from all these different perspectives. And I'm telling you right now, the key to all of it is is not more medication, it's not. You know, I'm not going to down not knock CBT, you know but see cognitive behavior therapy it sounded like you said CBD.
Speaker 2:Right, and that was not at all what I was saying. Um, I'm not gonna knock. You know, cognitive behavior therapy I I that is a very effective tool in its own wheelhouse by like as it pertains, and I'm not knocking counseling and therapy and all of that, like those, can be very effective those are good short-term tools to use but if you're not taking care of the family. In fact, 1 Timothy 5.8, that's what Paul says, right. If you do not take care of the family, especially the members of your own household you have denied the faith and you are worse than an unbeliever.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:I mean ouch.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I go a lot of these problems that we're dealing with. If we could just get back to eating dinner together.
Speaker 1:You literally took the thought out of my mind.
Speaker 2:If you could get back to spending time together, if you could get back to communicating.
Speaker 2:Limiting electronics, limiting electronics. If you can get back to all of these different things, I'm telling you right now these problems go away, right, like they they do. It ain't easy and and, like I said, we're we're going to look more at that in further episodes but they go away and and you can. You can have restoration, you can have healing, you can have a better home life. Right, just doing small and simple things. Right. And most of the things we're talking about aren't going to cost you money. Right, they're not going to. You know, they're going to take up some of your time, sure, yeah, but most of the stuff that we're going to talk about doesn't even cost anything. It's free.
Speaker 1:It's being selfless.
Speaker 2:It's doing things differently and you know you have to. Because, if you want different, you have to do different. Right, because if you keep doing the same thing, you're going to keep getting the same result.
Speaker 1:And we don't talk from a place of any other. We don't talk from any other place than we've experienced having to change and do things differently.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because certain things don't work Right the way you think they're going to.
Speaker 1:Right and you might have an idea that was my foot. You might have an idea in your mind that was my foot and Wow, are you done it?
Speaker 2:wasn't just that it made the noise Now.
Speaker 1:I'm terrified to move. I don't even want to move my foot.
Speaker 2:I don't even know if the mic picked it up, okay.
Speaker 1:You're making a big deal out of it. You just tell me.
Speaker 2:When you're done, just keep going on. It was your face that made me laugh, because I went uh-oh, he's going to say something stupid. Alright, I'm good.
Speaker 1:Are you done?
Speaker 2:No, but I'm good. You made me lose my train of thought. Your foot made you no it was that giggle.
Speaker 1:Oh, we've we've experienced, we've had to change things and do things differently, and and it's not always comfortable, it's not always fun and very rarely is right, but change is good. You know you don't have change without growth and growth is painful sometimes, you know yeah, no pain, no gain no pain. I agree with that to a certain extent I was gonna say there's limits there, but that's all on another episode. But we're gonna have different episodes that do talk about, you know, dinner table conversations, electronics.
Speaker 2:Do you fart in the bed?
Speaker 1:Oh God, there's science behind that, but that's a whole other episode. Don't even go there right now.
Speaker 2:Do you fart while recording podcasts and blame it on your foot?
Speaker 1:No, what is wrong with you? Do you go to church together? Do you pray together? Do you have uncomfortable conversations with your kids? Do you think they deserve all the privacy in the world?
Speaker 2:are you asking?
Speaker 1:me. No, I know what you think do you know what your? Partner spouse thinks about all these other things. How often do you go on dates?
Speaker 2:Are you, are you done Like?
Speaker 1:I could go on and on and on.
Speaker 2:Funny, when I was writing down scripts I didn't see you jumping on.
Speaker 1:You have great ideas and I will jump on those so because I trust you.
Speaker 2:So we look forward to investigating all of that. But, yeah, that's what we're trying to do, right? Yep, let's restore the family, let's give simple, practical tools to be able to restore the family, and let's fight this one family at a time. Amen, right, so until next time. We love you, we thank you.
Speaker 1:And we can't do this without you.
Speaker 2:Bye. Guys, Bye.