Faith, Family, Fishing; Navigating Everyday life
Is your family hurting, broken, or just looking to become closer and stronger? Josh and Debbie are in the business of just that. Working through issues regarding the family from perspectives such as; Pastor, Counselor, Teachers, law enforcement, and parents themselves, Josh and Debbie bring a wealth of information about the family, as well as, real life solutions to problems. If you are a Gen X'er with adult children, a millennial with teenagers, a Gen Z just starting, or something else, we have a show for you. Come take a listen, our aim is to restore the family!
Faith, Family, Fishing; Navigating Everyday life
The Power of Preparation: How Planning Strengthens Your Family
Ever feel like your family life is one chaotic moment after another? What if a simple shift in mindset could transform that chaos into calm?
This powerful episode explores how preparation isn't just a nice-to-have skill—it's essential for family strength and stability. Through personal stories (including a misplaced bistec and frozen lettuce), we reveal how even imperfect preparation creates significantly better outcomes than no preparation at all.
Discover practical wisdom about budgeting your time the same way you budget money. Learn why shoppers save 25% at the grocery store simply by making a list and using cash. Understand how Parkinson's Law ("work expands to fill the time available") affects your family dynamics and how setting firm boundaries between work and home creates space for what truly matters.
We tackle the uncomfortable truth that tomorrow is coming whether you're ready or not. The doctor's appointment, the difficult conversation, aging itself—preparation doesn't make these things disappear, but it transforms how you experience them. And for parents of teens, we offer perspective on helping young people understand how today's choices will impact their lives a decade from now.
This isn't about perfection—it's about progress. Even small steps toward better preparation can dramatically reduce stress and create more meaningful family connections. Share this episode with someone struggling with constant chaos and help them see that change is possible starting today.
I am hello and welcome to another episode of faith, family and fishing, where our aim is to strengthen the family yes, it is and on today's podcast. Here's what we're going to be talking about.
Speaker 1:You ready I wondered why you were playing the Lion King.
Speaker 2:First of all I wasn't playing the Lion King. Okay, I was just looking up that one song and it's on that. It's being prepared. Do you know how much crazy we could cut out of our lives If we were just to prepare?
Speaker 1:And it's funny you say that because this morning I know you made Kayla some dinner last night.
Speaker 2:Nope, that wasn't for. That was specifically for her lunch.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm saying, that's what I meant. You made her specific foods for her lunch that it wasn't properly put away. So I had to throw it out this morning and I was getting your stuff ready, like I was putting your stuff in your lunchbox and then I was making some stuff for kale, like there was. There was a lot of things going on and I thought to myself self self. We really went out of our way yesterday as a family to be prepared for this week and I didn't want to.
Speaker 2:I know it was so so just to give a little context of the story real quick okay, go ahead um, so we were yesterday.
Speaker 2:After church we're sitting in the office because the sharing center is open and we're kind of talking about what this week was going to look like what we wanted for dinners, what we wanted for lunch, put together a grocery, went to the grocery store on mission, very quickly, got everything, went home and I was going back and forth because I really wanted is that you making that noise? No, what is that? I don't know it's my phone, because I really wanted BLTs for lunch.
Speaker 2:Yes yes, but I knew in order to have blts, I would have to get bacon and I would have to cook bacon, and we were already running out of time. In the day it was already like four o'clock and I went. I don't want to spend the rest of you know, my day, my day, cooking, you know, and then it's nighttime, and then you know okay, now wake up and let's go to work right and so you know we, we did wind up doing that, getting the bacon, getting the steak for kayla so she could have.
Speaker 2:It's not chorizo, because that's that's yeah what beast the steak, what Bistec, bistec, that's what I'm calling it. Okay, so then we made it. It got put in the oven as I make you know, most of my food gets cooked outside Got put in the oven, and then that's the context. So, I guess you didn't really need to know all of that. Nope, it will come back up later, I promise.
Speaker 1:I mean, you felt like you needed to, that's okay. So I wake up this morning, I start preparing a few things. One of the kids gets their stuff ready the night before, the other one gets a little support and then I pack your stuff. So I'm packing Josh's stuff and then I go to go look for her stuff and uh-oh, this bistez nowhere to be found. I start looking everywhere. Then I notice a plate in the oven. So I put the oven there it is and I think to myself well, self self.
Speaker 1:This could cause bacteria and could kill somebody. So I gave a little sniff and threw it in the trash. So it was in the trash so. So we had to improvise. But then I was putting your stuff in your lunchbox and I thought to myself we went out of our way this last night.
Speaker 1:Stop. We went out of our way yesterday to make sure we were prepared for this week, and even still I'm putting the lettuce in your lunchbox, but then I had to cut off half of the top of it because it froze in the fridge and I in your lunchbox, but then I had to cut off half of the top of it because it froze in the fridge and I went.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you prepare, sometimes it's just like whoa, no, not enough, no. I am reminded of a famous quote that most men in the audience have heard luck favors the prepared mind I wasn't done talking because you cut me off.
Speaker 1:I could not imagine you had something to say. I wasn't there. I couldn't imagine how frantic I would have been had there been nothing right done. I mean, you cooked for hours yesterday and you know, a little hiccup here, a little hiccup there, granted everything. Ended upcup there, granted everything ended up being fine.
Speaker 2:It was more than fine. I don't know if you tasted any of that food.
Speaker 1:I still haven't eaten today, so I have no idea Because you weren't prepared. No, I didn't want to eat anything, but I just couldn't imagine having done nothing and being but. We lived like that for a while, years and years and years ago.
Speaker 2:And that's really what was driving this. Again. You know, if our aim is to strengthen the family, one of the best ways we can do that is by going hey, you know what you need to do. You need to be prepared, like we've had times where, honestly, we didn't even know there was a hurricane coming. For those of you that don't know, we live in florida right here in the us of a?
Speaker 2:um. So hurricanes aren't something necessarily new. We don't get hit with them every single hurricane season, right um, but if you're from florida like I, am it is a part of life.
Speaker 2:You may not get it this year, but you may get it twice next year, you know. And so there have been times we didn't even know there was a hurricane coming part of life. You may not get it this year, but you may get it twice next year, you know. And so there've been times we didn't even know there was a hurricane coming and still didn't have to freak out because we're prepared, right, you know we, we have things, we're ready to go, we, you know, so we don't have to freak out, and, and for a lot of us that's how we live life just freaked out all the time chaos and and all of that.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, yeah, because, right because and I get it, you know, the biggest reason I think a lot of people freak out and we know what this is like is, uh, money, right, yep, um, you know, and and when you're trying to live your life with money ruling it, you're never going to feel prepared because you're not going to be able to go. Hey, you know what? I'm going to go, drop $400 on a generator and that way, right, you know, if a hurricane does come, we have power still, you know, and then that's going to make everything else in your life that much harder when you do need it. Right, something as simple as honestly understand, if you're listening to this, you spend I think it was 20% less at the grocery store if you have a list, a prepared list, before you go to the store.
Speaker 1:Which makes me laugh.
Speaker 2:And the thing about it, you spend even less if you use cash. I think it's another like five percent. So you could save a quarter of your grocery bill just by being prepared, having a list and using cash oh, did you say 10 and five percent? No, I said 20 and five percent which is 25, which is a quarter it is um and I go. And that is again. You know another fun little saying right, people don't plan to fail, they fail to plan.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:Now on the and I get it, cause I kind of live on the other side of that realm right when I over plan.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And and at some point you got to pull the trigger and execute said plan, right, you can't just be mulling it over still Right. Trigger and execute said plan, right, you can't just be mulling it over, still right, um. But on the same hand, if you're not prepared, you're going to live in chaos absolutely you're but you don't sometimes.
Speaker 1:But people don't even realize that they're in chaos because of their lack of preparation. They just keep going. I don't understand. I don understand.
Speaker 2:And you're exhausted all the time and you're tired and you're sitting here going.
Speaker 1:This is not what I signed up for Right.
Speaker 2:This is I don't like this, like you know, and I get that, even with our schedule and anyone who knows us, I mean we're, we're hitting we busy 60 to 80 hours a week. You know at work, right, you know and and I go, but we can do it, because that's the biggest question how do you guys do all of this? We get asked that probably three times a week by different people honestly, because we look at time the same way we look at money and we budget our time.
Speaker 1:Got to make the most of what we have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yep, and I know that's not exciting. I know it's not fun to sit down on a Friday and go okay, what does this week? Look like Right, look like right, but you have to do that stuff we even plan for possible spontaneity.
Speaker 1:We may go do something extra this week, so on this day, right we can plan for this, but in case we may also go do this right and that way, you know we have time to go to the beach, we have time to go. You know you have time to go fishing like beach, we have time to go. You know you have time to go fishing like different things like that. Yeah. You know, sometimes my day starts at 430 in the morning. If I'm going to the gym in the morning, I'm tired.
Speaker 2:And then it ends at 430 in the afternoon and it ends at 430 in the afternoon.
Speaker 1:Yes, because I'm tired.
Speaker 2:But I'm going, let's watch TV.
Speaker 1:And I'm falling asleep. That's on purpose, it's being prepared going. This is what we're going to do, because we also want to plan for quality time with each other, quality time with the kids. You know, I do think, coming from where we used to be now, I mean, we've come a long way, baby.
Speaker 2:Well, and and I'm going to look it up real quick cause I don't know it off the top of my head Right, work will always take up. There's a quote, and I really liked it back in the day. There it is um, work will always expand to fill the time available for its completion, a concept known as parkinson's law. Right, and this means that if you give yourself more time to do a task, the task will naturally take that long to do. Right, all right, and and I bring that up because a lot of times you do have to look at time the same way you look at money. So if you follow like Dave Ramsey, dave Ramsey says to budget every dollar, assign every dollar something, because if you don't assign that dollar something, it's going to go to something else. You have to do the same thing with your time you have to be prepared.
Speaker 2:Because, again, I have seen people who hit a major catastrophe in their life. It could be a car accident, it could be a sudden illness, it could be an unexpected death. It could be a sudden illness, it could be an unexpected death, it could be an expected death, it could be like any of that and and it is completely shocking your system and you completely freeze. It's a condition. You know that we call condition black right.
Speaker 1:Code black or whatever.
Speaker 2:Where you just freeze.
Speaker 1:You don't do anything Right.
Speaker 2:And then now you're behind, and now you gotta run twice as fast to catch up. And I go where. If you would have taken time beforehand, began with the end of mind, you could have made a plan for that easily avoided it right you, you know, and when you look at things like the military, for instance, I mean they have contingency plans for anything.
Speaker 2:I just watched a video today from the Y files at lunch where it was contingency plans for zombies for the zombie apocalypse. Like the military, legit has a contingency plan for the zombie apocalypse. Legit has a contingency plan for the zombie apocalypse okay, and it's not zombies the way we think of zombies. But one of the ways that they were talking about how they already have this contingency plan is because there's already movies about zombie apocalypses, so the common person at least has some kind of an idea of how to act if this were ever to Right. I was like wow, like I've never watched any of those movies. Am I behind on this?
Speaker 1:It must be. I've never watched them.
Speaker 2:And and I go. And that's the thing, though, Like when you don't assign time to things, it will take up all of the time that you give it. So so, again, if you're sitting here going, you know it should take me about when. If you go, no, it's going to take, I'm going to get this done in a half an hour. It's going to take half an hour.
Speaker 1:Right, you know, the Bible talks about being prepared. Where. Where it talks about being prepared for the masters coming back.
Speaker 2:Be awake, yep, yeah, jesus says that right. And I go, and in a lot of places I mean, a couple of weeks ago I just preached about that right being, just preached about that right being awake. Yep, stay awake, stay vigilant, you know? And um, so, in romans 13, you know, that's what, that's what paul's telling him. He's sitting here going like you need to be prepared for this, you need to be awake, you need to be doing the things that you're supposed to be doing, right, don't just wait. And that that was the illustration I gave right when I was younger. You know my parents would leave, you know, and and be like, hey, you better clean the kitchen before I get home, right, and I would just sit in our living room because you would see the headlights, you would know, and you would know they were home. You knew you had like 30 seconds.
Speaker 2:You know to be in the kitchen from the time you see the headlights to you know the time they're in the house. Right. And that's exactly what you do. You run to the kitchen, you fill up the sink, you know you start doing dishes, and you're like oh, oh, I didn't even know you were home. Yeah, I've been doing this Like and that's how a lot of us live life, and then we live life so chaotically, that way, and nothing, ever Nothing's happening. Right, but nothing's actually getting done.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep, yep.
Speaker 2:And you're a dog chasing their tail.
Speaker 1:Literally Yep.
Speaker 2:And I go. That's not good. Like, one of the things we do at the house is we have an off time. Yep, you know we go, okay, from eight o'clock, and it's usually not eight, to be honest. It usually is like nine nine 30. You know, all, not eight, to be honest. It usually is like nine nine thirty. Um, you know, all right, so it's usually like nine thirty and I don't want to. I was trying to give us grace. It needs to be earlier.
Speaker 2:We need we need to be better at that um, but usually it's nine thirty, not usually it is nine thirty um. See how chaotic it comes when you're just like you know, and this is from someone who, like we, really try to practice this 930 at night. That's it, no more.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:For me, like you know, when I get off of work, that's it, no more. Yep, like I will deal with everything at work tomorrow. Yep. When I go hey, it's time for me to leave here. It is time for me to leave here.
Speaker 1:And, hey, it's time for me to leave here. It is time for me to leave here, and now I need to be more invested and involved in whatever's going on.
Speaker 2:And that's the thing. Like you're not invested in your marriage, in your parenting, in in whatever kind of your, whatever relationship, whoever you are, you're not invested in the world because you're still stuck somewhere else you know and I just when was it? I don't know a couple months ago, I think. I sent you that. Uh, research from carrie new newhoff yeah, I was like new wolf.
Speaker 2:I was like that didn't sound right. Um, where I think it's up to like. I think it was like 80 of people are answering emails or text messages after work hours.
Speaker 1:But kind of life is that right, cause then you're just spinning wheels, going, going, going, going, going and the next thing you know, you look up and it's still never getting done.
Speaker 2:Your to do list doesn't get smaller.
Speaker 1:No Cause you go if I just do these last few things. Those last few things. You're going not be there tomorrow like that's heavy it's true, though that's heavy though it is heavy, you gotta say well, I mean I go.
Speaker 2:What I was gonna say wasn't as deep, so I don't want to like honestly, after losing my mom, I think about stuff like that well, I go, there's literally. You know, we've about that after after dad passed and it was like man, like you're not cause I was passing. And yes, I do see it was a little bit different. Like my dad was very unexpected, yeah.
Speaker 1:But then you had, you talked to him and then he was gone a few hours later my mom, I had to watch.
Speaker 2:Well, you know and, and I'm not talking about that, but like it was just very like oh crap, we're not promised tomorrow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know that this is it, you know, and and one day.
Speaker 2:That day is going to come for all of us. What do you want people to say at your funeral? Right, you know, and my big thing, what I was gonna say, that wasn't as deep as any of what we were just talking about. Right, there was. This is everybody in my house knows. Once I take a shower, that's it. That's it all I'm doing the rest of it, yeah, all I'm doing and and, and. It's funny because there are days I will be like staying dirty and I'm begging you to take a shower and I'm like nope, it's too early.
Speaker 2:It's too early.
Speaker 1:It's too early because once I take a shower, that's it and I've told him I don't care what you have to do, I'll do all those, those things. Just go take a dang shower. Please, for the love of God.
Speaker 2:And and I go. But it goes back to and I don't want to drift too far off Right being prepared. It goes back to going if you, if you're prepared and you have to face something.
Speaker 1:It makes it so much easier, right, even if it's something that's hard. It's going to be hard, but it won't be as hard and it won't be as strenuous or straining or draining and the problem is too many of y'all in school went. Oh, I work better under pressure no, you just know you have to get it done because you don't have other choice right it's how you work better under pressure. You don't literally.
Speaker 2:You literally do not have a choice like it has to get done and now it's yeah and that's how we treat our lives and we wonder why then you go back and you look at it and you go I would have done this better and this better and that right, you have high blood pressure, anxiety, stress um ulcers, stomach issues I mean think about how many people our age are looking back at things going. If I could go back, here's what I would do right. And I'm sitting here going, then why didn't you do that?
Speaker 2:to begin when you were there, right, you know, andy, and in the office, you know, at the net, last episode spoiler warning. You know it's only been 14 years so right but um, when he was like. I wish I wish I you could know it was the good old days when it's the good old days. And I go and you can Yep, because you can make it whatever you want to make it Right. How many times have I told you our life can look however we want our life to look like?
Speaker 1:And when we started navigating things differently in our life, it was, it was work to get out of the habit of the chaos because you get so entrenched in doing things sporadically and chaotically. You actually get used to that normal and it's like you almost your body, your brain, everything has to get used to going.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, we don't function like that anymore and keep in mind it's super easy to fall back into that so easy I mean a couple of weeks ago. Right we're. We're out to dinner every single night because we didn't take the 10 minutes in that slot that we had right to put together a list and go to the grocery store and then what happens?
Speaker 1:like from again our own example. I remember like monday had come and it was like oh, we'll get to it tomorrow got to get. I was supposed to do this but, we didn't go to the store and that was going going to be my, I was going to get it then, and then it just hindered so many things during the week.
Speaker 2:But then you start hitting that phrase right, I'll get to it tomorrow, I'll get to it tomorrow, I'll get to it tomorrow, and what you notice is tomorrow actually never comes.
Speaker 1:And I carry a high stress level where I go. I don't, I don't even care, I don't even care. There you go, I don't even care what we do. We got to do something right now, like something has to happen right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but then you get frantic.
Speaker 1:I personally do get frantic because my mindset is going I'm not going to sit here and get stuck back in the same thing over and over again.
Speaker 2:So I kind of go into freak out mode and it's like nope, nope, we're not doing this Right, but that's just as stressful. And that's how most of us live life, though that's what I'm getting at. Like you want a stronger family? Here's what you need to do. You need to set a schedule for your family.
Speaker 2:You need to be able to go. Hey, yeah, you know you got little kids. It may be super early for you. You may go. Hey, it's six o'clock, everything's done, Even if it's hey, from six to eight. This is just family time. I can pick up things again after eight.
Speaker 2:I mean, we did that for years when the kids were real small. I was still in school, you know, I was trying to get done with my degree and I would come home from work. I'd usually get home about 630, from 630 to like 830. Right that, from 6.30 to like 8.30. Right, that was it. That was my time to play with the kids. Yep, to give you a break from the kids To. You know, really just be a dad, right? And then once the kids went to bed, I would go all right. Now it's time for me to go to school. Yep.
Speaker 2:And then open up the computer and then boom, I'm on school for the next three to four hours. Go to four hours, right, and it was a grind and it was, yeah, it was exhausting and it was time consuming, but the benefit that came out of it we wouldn't be where we are right far superseded the temporary um, not what was the word?
Speaker 2:I'm looking for it, the temporary inconvenience, if you will but it's the same thing when jesus goes, hey, whoever goes to build a tower, do they not count the cost first? Again, that's being prepared. That's sitting here, going. Hold on, let's have a plan here. Let's stop working willy nilly, let's go. Here's what we're trying to get to and here's how we're going to get there.
Speaker 1:I will say once you start doing that and you enter into a space that you are around people that don't do that, you start looking at it, going whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on. And I have found being in spaces where people weren't functioning like that, where I was like hang on, this is completely chaotic. Let's sit down and let's have a plan, which wasn't me normally, and it's beneficial because you can help your friends and your family and the people you care about and the people you work with, and go hang on.
Speaker 2:And if you're a planner, start helping your friends and family.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's not just for you.
Speaker 2:Sit down with them and go like, hey, let's look through this Like you got to understand, even if you look at like Strength Finders right, strength Finders 2.0. Right, one of the strengths is strategic planning, you know, and it's sitting here and going, ok, hold on, this is where we're trying to get to. Now let's plan on how to get there. Right. Be prepared to get there. Right Be prepared it's coming.
Speaker 1:It is.
Speaker 2:Regardless of what you want to believe, tomorrow is going to be here.
Speaker 1:Yeah and again whether you're ready or not, right. And what you do today is going to affect tomorrow the test is coming, the interview is coming, the scan is coming, the doctor's appointment is coming. Yeah. You know the calm, the uncomfortable conversation is coming Age is coming yeah. It is going to happen, whether you're ready or not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm thinking about it. I mean, I sit down and eat just cheeseburger after cheeseburger after cheeseburger at my age. Now I, yeah, what about 10 years from now? Right, and the amount of cheeseburgers changed from when you were 18. What do you mean? Like you can't eat? Oh yeah, 35 cheese. No, I don't. I don't eat as much as I used to, but but it's the same thing. I tell our son all the time. I'm trying to get him to understand that at 17, the choices you make now are going to affect you at 27 well, yeah, we tell him it's going to affect your wife, your kids, good, bad or indifferent.
Speaker 1:It's going to impact.
Speaker 2:That's one of the things we try to get through to the kids at school too. Like right, you know, like hey, I get, you're only 14, but today impacts tomorrow, 10 years from now.
Speaker 1:You, every moment Think about that.
Speaker 2:That's less than what. That's three years older and half of the time you've been alive.
Speaker 1:You're going to get there much faster than you anticipate. And you can do it calmly and collectively, and you know, with a plan and organized, or you can be in complete chaos and disarray and then step into your adulthood like that.
Speaker 2:So if you're listening to this this week and you're sitting here and going, oh, that's me, do things different, you can, you still got time? Yep. And if you're sitting here and going, hey, I know someone that needs to hear this, share this episode with them and can I share a little bit of morbid information morbid, or yeah well, some people might think it's morbid.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, after the passing of my mom I did find out you can actually pay for your funeral in advance. Honestly, I know it's a weird conversation to have but it saves your kids Gosh save, save your kids. It's something you could do in advance to spare them some grief and have everything prepared, and it's not as expensive as you think it is.
Speaker 2:So until next time, we love you, we thank you.
Speaker 1:Can't do this without you. Bye, guys, bye.
